To heal importance

It is as ever my recommendation that you have someone proofread your copy. Someone who has a thorough grasp of the language you intend to publish it in, and just as thorough attention to detail. Or you may end up with crap. Intense crap even:

Natural Power advertised on p. 10 in today's Star:

For men, they promise to 'resolve importance', including penile organ size. But better still, for women, they will help with 'Women libido, intense excrement and desire'. They also offer a 'sliming cream.' And 'wild growth hair oil for fuller and larger hair (USA)'.

Although crappy copy has been done before: Airtel promised to put a smile on the faeces of their customers.

Media Nitpicking: Friday Standard

Just scanned the Standard’s front page and holy cow, did they butcher it today:

In an article on new measures to save the shilling, Uhuru has, the Standard writes, lowered the limit on foreign exchange exousrue for commercial banks. I genuinely can’t figure out what this is supposed to mean (coffee just arriving at my brain) until a look at another paper unriddles it: foreign exchanges exposure.

Then I spot the teaser for Pulse magazine on the front page: ‘Kampala Courousal: Pulse transports you to Kampala for an afternoon of footbal and a ‘night run’’.

A courousal? Let’s have a look. On the Pulse cover, the courousal turns back into a ‘carousal’ and they’ve generously fetched another l to add to football. Onwards and upwards. In the main article on the football match (p. 10/11), you’ll find ‘As time tickles on’.

I quickly scan the fashion pages and have to give Pulse some credit: they manage to use ‘chic’ correctly. Twice. But the shoes described as loafers aren’t loafers, and the ‘statement heels’ aren’t exactly statement heels either.

Right, I’ve got stuff to do. If you find anything else in this edition of the Standard, stick it in the comments.

The Standard's Financial Journal is having a particularly impressive day

The Standard was the second paper I read today, and by the time I got round to the Financial Journal insert, I felt a little worn down already, so it took a nudge from the ever lovely Limo for me to do my duty to society. Here goes:

KQ is yearning for growth!
Kenya Airways, we learn, is hugging risks to drive revenues, possibly biting off more than they can swallow. This will involve complimenting ticket sales with other revenue streams. And now that KQ has ordered 10 Embraer, it is sending shivers among small airlines serving the East and Central African market. This article is accompanied by a text box titled: ‘Airline Woes: It’s Just a complicated Math’.

Then turn the page.
On p. 6 and 7, you’ll find exactly the same article published twice, albeit with different photographs and two different headlines, none of which is particularly elegant:

CBK finally concedes foul play in shilling attack

and

Central Bank smells fishy attack on sliding shilling.

There’s a lot to be said about this, and the fact that Standard can’t make up its collective mind whether to use CBK or Central Bank is just a minor issue.

Moving on swiftly. On p. 8, we find this intriguing subtitle: ‘Commercial banks return peanuts on savings even as they rip from high lending costs’.

I’m feeling exhausted. And there are more pages.

NTV's Daytime Audience: Bushy tailed more than bright eyed

I’ve done daytime NTV twice now. The first time, I was invited by Wallace Kantai, and I asked him whether he knew what the audience looked like for their 1pm show. ‘We’re still trying to find out,’ he said. Wallace and I have been buddies for a while, so we chatted away happily for about 45min in what was a fun session. Later, I had a look at my email and found a number of Facebook request from people who had seen me on the show. Interestingly, these were all young men, probably in their 20s. So is this NTV’s daytime audience? Or was there an element of self selection?

Not all of these Facebook ‘friendships’ ended happily:

I deleted the young man who asked me how I ‘compare being an atheist and Christianity’. I told him that there was plenty of online material available on this issue, so if this was of interest to him, he would just have to do the research. No, he insisted: He’d HAVE to know from me personally. Yes, he brought out the capital letters. After he posted a religious item on my page for the third time, I decided it was time to part ways.

A second virtual contact sent me this message: ‘Aint no wise guy but wuld reali luv to get down wit u! mmmm... precisely’. Mind you, I’ve never met him before. We exchanged a few messages in which I tried to explain that not only was this badly spelled, but also inappropriate. He eventually seemed to see the point of the latter, but then surprised me with this: ‘Would have really loved to lick you from head to toe.’ Gone.

Today I was invited by Larry Madowo. It was a much shorter discussion, but nevertheless yielded some interesting Facebook follow up:

‘hi, i hope u well, i have a business idea and hope that u could finance it please, lemme know.’

Also, a friend request with this message: ‘R u singl andrea am xo xo krazy ova u jst saw u on ntv.’

And as luck would have it, a former Facebook stalker also watched it and sent me an sms that ended with ‘Don’t u b tht quiet though!’. This was a man who had expressed an interest in ‘having intimacy’ with me, and was quiet unbothered by the fact that I didn’t even want to be friends with him. I intend to stay very, very quiet.

A Year of Win!

It’s only January and the year is proving incredibly promising already on all levels, personal and professional:

'I would like we create a working relation to built each other capacity and enhance more opportunity as we increase client base.’ From the director of a modelling and casting agency. A natural fit with country risk analysis!

And possibly also romance?

‘Hows the going buddy, it gives me pleasure on my part to write to you since i happen to working in the company that you frequently contribute business annalysis on; The star newspaper. Thats quit impressive.I should commend you on how you do your annalysis and the way you present your views. Am writing to you too on purposes since am in interested in getting to know you ,This is due to the fact that am a media practioner with a biased towards business related stories.’

Yes, I'm feeling optimistic.