Are you a man or a mouse?

My housemate and I always have a good laugh about those people who, according to the ‘A day in the life of (insert name)’, inevitably get up at 4.30, do their devotions, and then get on with all sorts of other incredibly commendable things (I mean, who does that??)

But more worrying to me is that standard bit that comes after the devotions where the woman portrayed ‘gets her husband ready for work’. Her husband? Who, obviously, on account of being married and all that, surely is an adult, no? What exactly does this involve? But how do you get a grown man ‘ready for work’?

So I was really pleased that the editorial in the Saturday Nation magazine picked up exactly that issue: What kind of man are you if you need to be gotten ready for work? And what if a woman who refuses to do that won’t be eligible for marriage? Cool beans, I say – that’s really not my idea of marriage. Not that I mind making coffee or breakfast for someone I care about, but getting a grown man ready for work?

More along those lines from today’s newspapers:

Chauvinist in the Standard’s Crazy Monday argues that a man who has a dirty, untidy house is just that – a man. Natural state of affairs. In contrast, a woman who has a dirty, untidy house is a slut and certainly not marriage material. I don’t know about you, heterosexual ladies, but I’d run a mile plus some if a guy roughly around my age (or, in fact, even 20 years younger) isn’t able to look after himself and his bachelor household. Those are basic life skills, whether you’re male or female. I’m looking for a partner, not a small child. My friend Nthenya’s two boys at age 14 and eight can cook three course dinners and know how to clean the bathroom. That’s because she’s a sensible person raising two sensible human beings.

Seriously. Every day, we get endless blablabla in the Kenyan media men being natural leaders and heads of this and that – and they can’t keep themselves clean and dressed and fed? I wouldn’t even accept such a person as my equal.

Man up. Grow a pair.

NMG Sexism Fail

Here’s a bit of good news amidst a lot of infuriating sadness: The Kenyan High Court has ordered the police to re-investigate rape complaints by 11 girls. The infuriating sadness:

‘The police rarely investigated their complaints, even locking one girl in a cell after she reported one of their colleagues had raped her, Chidi said. Police demanded bribes to investigate rape, refused to investigate unless the victims produced witnesses, and said victims had consented to intercourse, the victims said. he court order released late on Tuesday in Meru, 240 km (150 miles) northeast of Nairobi, said police contributed to a culture of tolerance for sexual violence against girls.’ (in the Standard)

This petition was filed by an NGO ‘on behalf of the girls, who came to the charity for help after being raped by fathers, grandfathers, uncles, police officers and neighbours.’

Just to set the scene.

Now look at this piece of ‘advice’ by ‘Dr’ Frank Njenga (quotation marks of derision in both cases) published by the Nation Media Group (NMG): Here’s a woman who was abused by a relative, a ‘respected elder’, as a teenager. She seeks advice on whether to speak out on this. Frank Njenga, in a response littered with biblical quotes and references, speculates that she might feel guilty for not having spoken out sooner, and essentially likens her to the adulterous woman in the bible: ‘“He who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her”. Not a single person had the courage or track record to throw a stone at her; they all walked away one by one and when they had all gone away (in shame) Jesus asked the adulterous woman to go away and sin no more.’ The woman seeking advice hasn’t sinned, so the relevance of this Bible reference escapes me.

After this, he continues with a new line of argument:

‘Is it possible that you have the urge to tell the truth, not to hurt the elder, but to bring shame and scandal to your husband, yourself and the children? Is it, for example, possible that you feel so sad, empty, hopeless and helpless that you feel you deserve punishment for not just your sins but for the sins of all humankind? (…) Is it possible that in the context of some other pressures in your life you have developed some abnormality in your thinking process and that what you are referring to as abuse by a relative as a teenager is false recollection?’ He then recounts a lengthy, utterly irrelevant tale about a woman who made up a number of offences that she had committed.

Is it possible that Mr Njenga has taken leave of his senses?

Mr Njenga basically calls a woman who has been abused either a) a slut or b) a liar.

More importantly, this was published by the NMG. Way to go – insult and denigrate the victim, and make sure the abuser’s reputation isn’t dented the tiniest little bit. Is there *any* quality control at the NMG all? Who’s the public editor?

High Fiction and Shenanigans: KPLC Power Bills

In November, there seems to have been a spate of ridiculously high power bills. Mine was higher than usual, so I contacted KPLC and was told that not all bills are based on meter readings, but, for practical reasons, on estimates.

I do wonder on what basis KPLC make those estimates since my bill was higher than anything I’d paid before.

A friend had a power bill that was three times the usual amount, and when she called KPLC, the customer service staff asked if she had perhaps ‘done some welding’.

But it got more intriguing in December when I received a power bill of around KES120,000 for my office. Office, mind you, so no lights at night, no water heater, etc. We have never had a bill of more than KES5,000 for that building. I called KPLC and even the customer service lady admitted that this was ‘a lot of money’ (no shit, sister). KPLC then said I should take the meter reading and send someone to Stima Plaze. This worked surprisingly well (all things considered) as I was given the correct amount and just paid. I still don’t understand how KPLC can even issue an invoice with a figure that is so obviously off the chart.

But that wasn’t the end of it. This month’s bill: KES117,000. I have been given a reference number ...

Also, faced with a similar invoice, my friend Patricia was given a bit more of a run around when she tried to do something about her power bill of KES157,000:

‘Kenya Power, Harambee Ave., Wednesday, 16th Jan

The first guy I was directed to looked at me once and proceeded to click his mouse annoyingly through the time it took me to state my case. He didn't flinch as I handed him a copy of the figures hubby and I had worked out and printed as proof of their blatant miscalculation. I fell silent....and a heady mix of accents being spoken at other desks began to fill our space.

His colleague sitting behind him noticed our silent/one-sided 'dialogue' and suggested I take my complaint to the team that keys in the bill data, situated on the 2nd floor. I picked my papers, without a single word being uttered by 'Mr. Lefthead' and went off off, fighting dark thoughts that were rapidly taking control in my own mind.

The lady I was sent to sat at her desk, in a dull airless room, deftly biting into a bright ripe mango, straight from the peel, without any trace of nectarous mess (surely an art in itself). I could feel myself beginning to foam at the mouth even as she admitted Kenya Power have a problem with their system (no kidding!!). She tried to explain where the problem had arisen but I wasn't having any of it at this point and said so.

She did actually look at the calculations I'd brought along, then handed my bill to another colleague with a request to rectify it. Needless to say, he took a while and I was forced to really take in my surroundings. Then came the drama with the printer- they had one, but the person who had the cable was nowhere to be found and even though I counted about five PCs in the office, none was attached to said printer.

Much shuffling and already exhausted voices explaining how said person must still be on possession of cable as he was seen holding it the previous day. Another long wait began and I spent that time musing over the fact that I now know a thing or two about consumption estimates and cost per unit (btw-you should too).

New printed rectified bill arrived after what seemed like an eternity and the December bill had been reduced by over 900% (beat that!). I'll leave you to work out all the morals of the tale.’

So, in conclusion, KPLC: What *are* you smoking when you write those bills?

Africa Curios

Alice Temperley makes pretty clothes, but I had a bit of a WTF reaction here:

'We stayed with the Mursi tribe ... I asked one of the women to take out her lip plate and I engaved William and Catherine on it with a nail. I know they love Africa, so I've just sent it to them as a wedding present. It's a piece of history they'll really appreciate' (Sunday Times magazine from 12 June 2011).