Move on - or suck it up?

I find the concept of forgiveness difficult. Not, perhaps, over small things, but when it comes to massive wrongdoings. If, say, you watched your family being butchered. If you have been violated, raped, cut. I guess the bottom line for me is that nobody can tell a person who had been so severely wronged, so horrendously hurt, to forgive – if that person finds it in herself or himself, fine, that’s their decision, and hopefully their ability to do so. But no-one else can ask them, or even order them, to forgive. Or to move on.

So on Kenya moving on - I’d believe this if:

We could stop this endless (agonizingly slow, riddled with corruption) talk about compensation and resettlement. What for? Mr Kenyatta was recently at the coast handing out land titles. I’d like to know from him and Mr Ruto why the people who had been chased away from the Rift Valley can’t go back to the land and to their houses they owned. Rule of law, right?

And if there were prosecutions. It’s almost as is the post election violence never happened – even under Kenya’s old constitution, rape, murder, grievous bodily harm, all those were illegal. 1,500 people dead? Many many more raped, beaten, butchered, burnt? Where, in this sleek new Kenya, are the court cases to prosecute the perpetrators? Rule of law, right?

As long as these are rhetorical questions, there is no moving on. There is only sucking it up.

As long as these are rhetorical questions, none of the screeching over the ICC is valid.

Are you a man or a mouse?

My housemate and I always have a good laugh about those people who, according to the ‘A day in the life of (insert name)’, inevitably get up at 4.30, do their devotions, and then get on with all sorts of other incredibly commendable things (I mean, who does that??)

But more worrying to me is that standard bit that comes after the devotions where the woman portrayed ‘gets her husband ready for work’. Her husband? Who, obviously, on account of being married and all that, surely is an adult, no? What exactly does this involve? But how do you get a grown man ‘ready for work’?

So I was really pleased that the editorial in the Saturday Nation magazine picked up exactly that issue: What kind of man are you if you need to be gotten ready for work? And what if a woman who refuses to do that won’t be eligible for marriage? Cool beans, I say – that’s really not my idea of marriage. Not that I mind making coffee or breakfast for someone I care about, but getting a grown man ready for work?

More along those lines from today’s newspapers:

Chauvinist in the Standard’s Crazy Monday argues that a man who has a dirty, untidy house is just that – a man. Natural state of affairs. In contrast, a woman who has a dirty, untidy house is a slut and certainly not marriage material. I don’t know about you, heterosexual ladies, but I’d run a mile plus some if a guy roughly around my age (or, in fact, even 20 years younger) isn’t able to look after himself and his bachelor household. Those are basic life skills, whether you’re male or female. I’m looking for a partner, not a small child. My friend Nthenya’s two boys at age 14 and eight can cook three course dinners and know how to clean the bathroom. That’s because she’s a sensible person raising two sensible human beings.

Seriously. Every day, we get endless blablabla in the Kenyan media men being natural leaders and heads of this and that – and they can’t keep themselves clean and dressed and fed? I wouldn’t even accept such a person as my equal.

Man up. Grow a pair.

NMG Sexism Fail

Here’s a bit of good news amidst a lot of infuriating sadness: The Kenyan High Court has ordered the police to re-investigate rape complaints by 11 girls. The infuriating sadness:

‘The police rarely investigated their complaints, even locking one girl in a cell after she reported one of their colleagues had raped her, Chidi said. Police demanded bribes to investigate rape, refused to investigate unless the victims produced witnesses, and said victims had consented to intercourse, the victims said. he court order released late on Tuesday in Meru, 240 km (150 miles) northeast of Nairobi, said police contributed to a culture of tolerance for sexual violence against girls.’ (in the Standard)

This petition was filed by an NGO ‘on behalf of the girls, who came to the charity for help after being raped by fathers, grandfathers, uncles, police officers and neighbours.’

Just to set the scene.

Now look at this piece of ‘advice’ by ‘Dr’ Frank Njenga (quotation marks of derision in both cases) published by the Nation Media Group (NMG): Here’s a woman who was abused by a relative, a ‘respected elder’, as a teenager. She seeks advice on whether to speak out on this. Frank Njenga, in a response littered with biblical quotes and references, speculates that she might feel guilty for not having spoken out sooner, and essentially likens her to the adulterous woman in the bible: ‘“He who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her”. Not a single person had the courage or track record to throw a stone at her; they all walked away one by one and when they had all gone away (in shame) Jesus asked the adulterous woman to go away and sin no more.’ The woman seeking advice hasn’t sinned, so the relevance of this Bible reference escapes me.

After this, he continues with a new line of argument:

‘Is it possible that you have the urge to tell the truth, not to hurt the elder, but to bring shame and scandal to your husband, yourself and the children? Is it, for example, possible that you feel so sad, empty, hopeless and helpless that you feel you deserve punishment for not just your sins but for the sins of all humankind? (…) Is it possible that in the context of some other pressures in your life you have developed some abnormality in your thinking process and that what you are referring to as abuse by a relative as a teenager is false recollection?’ He then recounts a lengthy, utterly irrelevant tale about a woman who made up a number of offences that she had committed.

Is it possible that Mr Njenga has taken leave of his senses?

Mr Njenga basically calls a woman who has been abused either a) a slut or b) a liar.

More importantly, this was published by the NMG. Way to go – insult and denigrate the victim, and make sure the abuser’s reputation isn’t dented the tiniest little bit. Is there *any* quality control at the NMG all? Who’s the public editor?

We need to talk

Hon, do you have a moment? Yes? Is this a good time?

We need to talk. This is a bit difficult for me.

I know that we’re in this together. It’s a relationship. A give and take. And you’re always very prompt in holding me to account when I don’t keep my end of the bargain. Actually, you’re quite ruthless. You always just cut me off immediately and then it takes so much effort to get back into your good books.

But the other way round, it’s a lot more difficult. I know I’ve been nagging, and I also said rude things. In public, even. I’m sorry. But we really need to find a way of addressing this. It’s becoming an issue for me that you can’t keep it up. I give and give and give, month after month, and you – you just pull out all the time. You’re hardly ever there, fully and reliably, you know?

This isn’t really working for me. It’s you, not me, KPLC.

Siiimba!

One of the drivers in our compound is a tall guy. Not tall-skinny, but tall and broad-shouldered. Still: He’s afraid of Ollie. It’s happened several times that he hops sideways onto the grassy bit when we meet him out on walkies, or that he walks a careful curve around the doglet. He does realise that this is a little comical: whilst the doglet is technically a dog and therefore fearsome, he is also the size of a malnourished housecat.

He has taken to calling Ollie ‘simba’, lion – maybe because of his fluffy chest? ‘Siiimba siiimba!’ he almost singsongs when we walk past.

And Ollie is indeed fearsome when he has a go at the German shepherd guard dog who comes to our compound at night (always safely on a leash, and Charlie the guard dog mostly has a look of concern on his lovely face): bark-yelling furiously, shaking his head and spitting with rage, and all back fur up like a row of dragon spikes. Demon doglet. He also wags his tail, but nobody at the gate really understands dog behavior well enough to pick up on this confusion.

Post-Election Thoughts (PET): Silence or Sensationalism?

I hope that everyone who is so busy bitching about 'foreign media' will apply the same scrutiny to local media - those are the outlets that Kenyans get the bulk of their news from. It wasn't the idiots at CNN organising the violence in the Rift Valley.

There was very little interrogation of the role of the local media in the violence in the last elections. Media houses did acknowledge that they may not have played things quite that well, but did they ever sit down to go through this in detail - and make the results public? Did any Kenyan non-media organisation analyse this? I’m sure the scrutiny is more intense for the large, English-language outlets, and less for the smaller, local language outlets.

So far, the only journalist I know of who has been taken to court was Mr Sang, but he was taken to the ICC, and the ICC is a meddling foreign instrument (never mind that the majority of Kenyan MPs, including Mr Ruto, I believe, voted not just once, but three times to take Kenya's PEV cases to the ICC).

Here is a very interesting and detailed investigative report on corruption in the Kenyan media sector, both affecting the coverage of corporate and business news and of political news. Not once has this document made any waves. Anyone who has issues with foreign media would do well to read this, too. If corruption has long been a problem in political coverage (and remember that many outlets are partly owned by politicians).

I think that stereotyping, sensationalist, simply wrong article about Kenya should be ridiculed, no doubt (and I've done plenty of that in my column and on my Facebook page). But just as much as Kenyans don't want to be referred to wholesale as tribal murderers for the 1,500 people who died in 2007/2008, it makes little sense to lump together all 'foreign media'. There are ignorant idiot pieces, and also a great many sober, insightful ones, and a lot of plain old reporting.

I find this vilification of all foreign media particularly worrying in the context of the self-censorship of the local media, the 'tyranny of peace', and the wider vilification of all things foreign. Yes, I understand: there was a huge (undoubted) need to call for sobriety and calm, and it was always going to be a delicate balance to get this right. But reporting, plain legitimate reporting, largely fell by the wayside. It’s perfectly fine not to broadcast politicians’ press conferences live – but it’s still necessary to pick up their claims.

Not publish them unquestioned, but to interrogate and attempt to verify them. When CORD claims that constituency tallies didn’t match, media must check this. If Jubilee claims that there is a British military invasion, a phone call to the Ministry of Defence about the longstanding UK/Kenya agreement on training facilities might have cleared things up.

In the past week, when international media did cover criticism of the tallying process, they were attacked as sensationalist and bloodthirsty. Effectively and ad hominem argument (what’s the word when you refer to organisations rather than people?), as it no longer addresses the substance of the argument, only the origin. So this has effectively become a narrative about outsiders, not about Kenya itself anymore.

CNN won’t make a difference to Kenyan lives. Nation and KTN coverage will.

Here's Muthoni Wanyeki on the (unnecessary) trade off between peace and truth.

And a great piece by a Kenyan blogger on the 'lobotomy of silence'.

Just two pieces showing that the 'tyranny of peace' did not go entirely unquestioned. Not all Kenyans agreed with this approach.

I was constantly on social media during the week after the elections, and Kenyans on Twitter are a notoriously lively bunch. So the local media can decide to silence themselves, but we've seen that the international media won't necessarily follow this approach. Similarly, social media are hard to silence. Kenyans love a good conspiracy theory, and for that reason, too, I think it's hugely important to have media who actually address and pick apart claims, factually so. What other way is there to offset the crazier rumours?

No, it might not be fine

Found this scanning my Facebook newsfeed – a comment on a thread with condolences for a woman who had lost her father: ‘It shall all be fine.’

It might be. Sometimes you recover from loss and pain and incredible difficulty. Sometimes it makes you stronger and happier in the end. Sometimes you learn to live with it. And sometimes it’s not going to be fine. Ever.

Augusten Burroughs wrote in his beautiful – and, to me, so true – essay To Live Unhappily Ever After:

‘So we can be filled with holes and loss and wide expanses of unhealed geography—and we can also be excited by life and in love and content at the exact same moment. This is among the oldest, deepest, most primal truths: The facts of life may be, at times, unbearably painful. But the core, the bones of life are generous beyond all reason or belief. Those things which ought to kill us do not. This should be taken as encouragement to continue.

The truth about healing is that you don't need to heal to be whole.’

High Fiction and Shenanigans: KPLC Power Bills

In November, there seems to have been a spate of ridiculously high power bills. Mine was higher than usual, so I contacted KPLC and was told that not all bills are based on meter readings, but, for practical reasons, on estimates.

I do wonder on what basis KPLC make those estimates since my bill was higher than anything I’d paid before.

A friend had a power bill that was three times the usual amount, and when she called KPLC, the customer service staff asked if she had perhaps ‘done some welding’.

But it got more intriguing in December when I received a power bill of around KES120,000 for my office. Office, mind you, so no lights at night, no water heater, etc. We have never had a bill of more than KES5,000 for that building. I called KPLC and even the customer service lady admitted that this was ‘a lot of money’ (no shit, sister). KPLC then said I should take the meter reading and send someone to Stima Plaze. This worked surprisingly well (all things considered) as I was given the correct amount and just paid. I still don’t understand how KPLC can even issue an invoice with a figure that is so obviously off the chart.

But that wasn’t the end of it. This month’s bill: KES117,000. I have been given a reference number ...

Also, faced with a similar invoice, my friend Patricia was given a bit more of a run around when she tried to do something about her power bill of KES157,000:

‘Kenya Power, Harambee Ave., Wednesday, 16th Jan

The first guy I was directed to looked at me once and proceeded to click his mouse annoyingly through the time it took me to state my case. He didn't flinch as I handed him a copy of the figures hubby and I had worked out and printed as proof of their blatant miscalculation. I fell silent....and a heady mix of accents being spoken at other desks began to fill our space.

His colleague sitting behind him noticed our silent/one-sided 'dialogue' and suggested I take my complaint to the team that keys in the bill data, situated on the 2nd floor. I picked my papers, without a single word being uttered by 'Mr. Lefthead' and went off off, fighting dark thoughts that were rapidly taking control in my own mind.

The lady I was sent to sat at her desk, in a dull airless room, deftly biting into a bright ripe mango, straight from the peel, without any trace of nectarous mess (surely an art in itself). I could feel myself beginning to foam at the mouth even as she admitted Kenya Power have a problem with their system (no kidding!!). She tried to explain where the problem had arisen but I wasn't having any of it at this point and said so.

She did actually look at the calculations I'd brought along, then handed my bill to another colleague with a request to rectify it. Needless to say, he took a while and I was forced to really take in my surroundings. Then came the drama with the printer- they had one, but the person who had the cable was nowhere to be found and even though I counted about five PCs in the office, none was attached to said printer.

Much shuffling and already exhausted voices explaining how said person must still be on possession of cable as he was seen holding it the previous day. Another long wait began and I spent that time musing over the fact that I now know a thing or two about consumption estimates and cost per unit (btw-you should too).

New printed rectified bill arrived after what seemed like an eternity and the December bill had been reduced by over 900% (beat that!). I'll leave you to work out all the morals of the tale.’

So, in conclusion, KPLC: What *are* you smoking when you write those bills?

Sunday morning at One Off Gallery

A few weeks ago, I took a visiting friend to Carol Lees's One Off Gallery. That's always lovely: Not only is Carol very good at what she does, and passionate about it, but there'll also be cake and coffee and wine. This was a Sunday morning, so coffee and Carol looking serious:

Lots of space on the ground floor to look at some painings.

This was the current exhibition when we visited - quite day-glo:

Richard Kimathi - empty eyes? Or what's in the space behind them?

Upstairs:

Chameleon on the floor:

And the dogs are helping explain and sell art. I think.

Here's the link to One Off's Facebook page.

Njema Helena launch: All the pretty dresses

I love African fabrics. And pretty dresses. And pockets in skirts and dresses. So, unsurprisingly, I loved the Njema Helena launch collection. Here's design director Cecilia in one of her dresses. A peplum dress - and I'm slowly beginning to make friends with peplums.

Did I mention pretty dresses?

I also really liked the belts - in particular this little bow one:

These are made from fish leather. It looks like soft, slightly fluffy snake skin - sorta:

More belts plus a skirt. I think this skirt had pockets. I approve of skirts with pockets!

These little jackets are what Coco Chanel would have made if she had shopped for fabrics in Africa. Very cute with jeans - trust me, I tried! You will be mine, preshusssssss!

Njema Helena don't have a permanent outlet yet, but will be back for the Xmas Box market next month. Check out their Facebook page for updates.

Bridge International Academies FTW!

Amazing news: Bridge International Academies here in Nairobi are runner up for the Outstanding Small and Growing Business Award in the Africa Awards for Entrepreneurship, given out by the Africa Leadership Network (ALN).

From the press release: 'Bridge International Academies was the runner-up for the Outstanding Small and Growing Business Award, also a prize of USD50,000, and a commendation from the African Leadership Network. In 2007 the company developed a strategy that would allow it to launch a large-scale network of high-quality, ultra low-cost, for-profit private schools. The concept 'school-in-a-box' has enabled children to receive high-quality education for USD4 per child per month and has the biggest chain of low-cost private schools in Africa that run 80 academies in Kenya with over 25,000 students.'

I've met and interviewed Shannon May - who founded and runs Bridge together with her husband and a third partner - a few times and she's utterly impressive, frighteningly well informed, and also very very lovely to boot. It's an amazing company: quality education for a fee that's roughly equal to what parents pay in 'desk fees', 'motivation fees' etc in the so-called free primary education. It's a for-profit model (albeit initially funded with some patient capital), which means that its growth is not dependent on donations. And it's probably one of the fastest-growing companies in Kenya: they went from a handful employees to 1,200 in three years.

Congratulations!

To heal importance

It is as ever my recommendation that you have someone proofread your copy. Someone who has a thorough grasp of the language you intend to publish it in, and just as thorough attention to detail. Or you may end up with crap. Intense crap even:

Natural Power advertised on p. 10 in today's Star:

For men, they promise to 'resolve importance', including penile organ size. But better still, for women, they will help with 'Women libido, intense excrement and desire'. They also offer a 'sliming cream.' And 'wild growth hair oil for fuller and larger hair (USA)'.

Although crappy copy has been done before: Airtel promised to put a smile on the faeces of their customers.

Four Twenty South and Emporio Kumar

I brought Alison, and Alison brought Elizabeth, and then I talked Carol into coming, and she brought Adele, and we all drove Hilary and Jane at Four Twenty South nuts with the cottage bookings because we arrived and left on different days. But when we were not arriving and departing, we were horizontal. Here's what paradise looks like:

This is the view from one of the cottages a bit further in the back:

Billy came to the cottage to give us a yoga lesson every day. Don't be fooled. He just looks harmless. The pain eased on day four, just when I had to leave.

Pre-yoga coffee with cat friend (insert pussy joke here):

Madafu after yoga, and brunch being prepared by the talented Michael. Can this get any better?

Yes, it can! Because we discovered Emporio Kumar, a fashion house so exclusive, they close over lunch!

It is my firm belief that Mrs Kumar has elves in her workshop. I may have bought all wrap skirts, but they will have new ones ready the next day and Mrs Kumar will helpfully direct her staff to show them to me. She knows a sucker when she sees one! Mrs Kumar raided our accounts. We raided Emporio Kumar. Here's my loot:

Four Twenty South is one of my favouritest places. Find them on Facebook here.

Party Shopping and Delusion: What's New?

Turns out, not much. Today in the Standard: Musalia Mudavadi, who has made ominous announcements of ‘announcements’ for, what, weeks now? 'When you leave here, I want you to be sure that I will not go back.' Passive-aggressive drama queen. Get on with it already.

Kalonzo Musyoka still hasn’t brought an original thought or a shred of personality to the table, and doesn’t seem to intend to: In the Nation, he emphasises again that he ‘is best suited to continue with President Kibaki’s policies since he had understudied the Head of State.’ Understudied the head of state in running around trying to undermine the ICC? Also, wobbly reasoning: ‘Being an election year we don’t want a repeat of what happened in 2007. We want to be peaceful.’ (Nation) Quite. That was the election organised under Kibaki’s presidency.

Musyoka's superior suitability is also not a position shared by Prof. Saitoti, who may be a little too optimistic about his own ability to prove opinion polls wrong. Saitoti in the Standard: ‘Kenyans know who I’m, what I stand for, and what I have done. There is no doubt that they would elect me to succeed President Kibaki when he retires. … Pollsters will be surprised when I become president.’ But he’s clearly a man with a national, not a tribal outlook: ‘Saitoti said the position of Education PS which was held James ole Kiyiapi and NEMA chairman headed by Francis ole Kaparo “should be given back to the Maasai community”. (Star)

This is comforting as it’s ever so predictable a script: ‘The fight for control of the United Republican Party (URP) by politicians close to Eldoret North MP William Ruto has threatened to tear the nascent party apart. What has clearly emerged is the fight has to do with nominations for party positions and who will have the final say.’(Standard) Pole, Mr Ruto – wasn’t this exactly the same problem he had with UDM?

And I swear I heard my small dog say ‘urp’ this morning when he stretched.

Uhuru Kenyatta also still seems to be floating around without a party home after having been shoved out of KANU. Again, pole. I am sure he will fix this shortly. ‘Shopping for a party’, no doubt.

Just as a reminder: This is what the latest Infotrack Harris polls predict, according to Capital FM: Raila Odinga 42%, Uhuru Kenyatta 22%, Kalonzo Musyoka 9%, Martha Karua 5%, William Ruto 5% and Musalia Mudavadi 5%. Saitoti: not mentioned in the article.

BM Security: Insecurity Company?

Few things make me feel quite as stabby as 'overlapping'.

This was on Tuesday, 2 Feb, around 7.30pm on Kanjata Road leading to James Gichuru. Traffic was flowing - slowly, but flowing -, until idiots like the BM Security driver started using the wrong side of the road and created a giant, entirely predictable clusterfuck.

I emailed BM Security yesterday, but no response yet. So off to Twitter with this.