This is also one of my absolute favourites. I was a little surprised that Zimbabwe, a landlocked country, had a mermaid mythology, but my lovely colleague Chris Melville, the Africa ueber geek, gave me a book that explained that lakes and rivers are entry ways to the underworld (the book also had a chapter about a priest who, before he became a Christian cleric, had been raised by a witch father, and had travelled to that underworld regularly. He said that there were airports and universities in the underworld, and people trained in dark arts to then later re-emerge in the World Bank and the IMF in the upper world).
Again: enjoy!
Reported on Zimnews, sometime in 2005: Mermaids were costly, but invisible
Harare - A woman has testified here that she paid a popular local musician to fly in five mermaids from London to help her recover a stolen car and cash. Businesswoman Magrate Mapfumo said she paid US$5,000 to fly the invisible mermaids here on the advice of musician Edna Chizema, who is on trial for theft, the state-owned Herald reported yesterday. Mapfumo testified that she sought Chizema's advice after her car and millions of Zimbabwean dollars were stolen. Zimbabwe's Shona people believe mermaids are fearsome enchantresses capable of wreaking vengeance on wrongdoers. She said she also paid for the mermaids to be housed at Harare's plush tourist resort, the Jameson Hotel, and supplied with cellphones and generators to cope with the capital's frequent power cuts, the paper said. "I asked about their names and I was told they were called Emma, Charmaine, Sharvine, Bella and a fifth one who was said to be an Arab mermaid," the Herald quoted Mapfumo saying. "She (Chizema) told me I could not see the mermaids as only spirit mediums could do so."
Showing posts with label Excellent Africa stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Excellent Africa stories. Show all posts
31 March 2011
30 March 2011
Swazi Donkey Incident
Also one of my all-time favourites. I believe this was the front-page story at the time, and since Swaziland only has a population of about 50, everyone knew. Enjoy!
Man has sex with donkey
BY BANELE DLAMINI
MKHUZWENI - A teenage boy was caught 'red handed' by a woman fulfilling his sexual cravings by engaging in sexual intercourse (bestiality) with a donkey last Friday at Mkhuzweni.
The teenager Sanele Simelane (19) was caught in the act by Jabulile Mavuso on Friday morning (8am) having sex with the animal in the homestead where he lives while others were away.
Simelane was caught with his 'pants down' straddling the donkey belonging to Mfanawenina Mdluli, in an act that is believed to have lasted for about 30 minutes.
Mdluli's homestead is situated about 100 metres away from the Hlatjwako homestead where the act was committed.
The donkey's name is Mhlosheni because of its khaki like coat.
Simelane is believed to belong to the Jericho Christian faction.
Mavuso said that she could not believe her eyes when she saw Simelane first seduce the donkey before actually having sex with it.
According to Mavuso, she was passing above the Hlatjwako homestead when she saw Simelane in a compromising position with the donkey, rubbing a stick against the donkey's genitals.
And to her surprise the donkey stopped moving and adhered to the young man's advances.
Taking a closer look Mavuso realised that the man could no longer resist his sexual urges, as he discarded the stick he was using opting to use his right hand instead.
Enjoying
"The donkey raised its tail as if it was enjoying what he was doing to it. For a second I did not know what to do but later left to call a neighbour to witness the act," she said in a surprised and disgusted tone.
She said that they together with a neighbour, Shikisha Dludlu who apparently is Simelane's uncle, watched in awe as Simelane 'fore played' the donkey by gentle rubbing its genitals before proceeding to have sex with it.
"He positioned the donkey on a slight slop and penetrated it for a long time but the entire duration including the touching of genitals lasted for about 30 minutes. Dludlu said we must not disturb him and therefore we let him finish before making our presence known," she added.
Mavuso was further puzzled by the fact that the donkey did not resist the penetration, "it seems as if it was enjoying itself. As he continued it was wiggling its tail and did not attempt to kick at him."
All the while Simelane did not utter a word. Upon ejaculating the man is said to have spent a few minutes facing down as if gasping for air but was interrupted by the exclamations of Mavuso who said that she was totally disgusted by the incident.
Pants
She said that they asked him if he was aware that his pants had become wet in the process but instead they received threats from Simelane. "He threatened to stab me and we left him alone," she said exclaiming that she spat in disgust as they watched Simelane satisfy himself.
Simelane is said to have fetched the donkey, which is one of eight that Mdluli owns, from its grazing land situated a walking distance away leading it to the homestead's kraal where all the 'action' took place.
The donkey's owner, Mdluli, said that he uses his donkeys for farming and that at no point in time did he suspect that his livestock was being subjected to such acts. "He had to be arrested because there is no telling what else he would get up to. Besides I did not want him to spread animal diseases to other people. What he did is despicable and cruelty to animals," he said.
He said that his donkey was rather old such that if it were a human being it would have grandchildren.
Simelane was reported to the police by Mdluli on Saturday and he was arrested the following morning.
Reported
He said that he had not reported the matter to his chief yet.
It is not known if Simelane and the donkey had been enjoying a 'sexual relationship' besides this time that he was caught in the act. It is also not known if he has a girlfriend. He is said to have arrived in the area a few months ago with a member of the Hlatjwako homestead. However, it was gathered that prior to this arrival he had once worked in the same homestead and was regarded as part of the family.
In 2001 an act of bestiality was reported, but then a man was caught having sex with a cow in its kraal.
The act is said to have been going on for quite some time.
Man has sex with donkey
BY BANELE DLAMINI
MKHUZWENI - A teenage boy was caught 'red handed' by a woman fulfilling his sexual cravings by engaging in sexual intercourse (bestiality) with a donkey last Friday at Mkhuzweni.
The teenager Sanele Simelane (19) was caught in the act by Jabulile Mavuso on Friday morning (8am) having sex with the animal in the homestead where he lives while others were away.
Simelane was caught with his 'pants down' straddling the donkey belonging to Mfanawenina Mdluli, in an act that is believed to have lasted for about 30 minutes.
Mdluli's homestead is situated about 100 metres away from the Hlatjwako homestead where the act was committed.
The donkey's name is Mhlosheni because of its khaki like coat.
Simelane is believed to belong to the Jericho Christian faction.
Mavuso said that she could not believe her eyes when she saw Simelane first seduce the donkey before actually having sex with it.
According to Mavuso, she was passing above the Hlatjwako homestead when she saw Simelane in a compromising position with the donkey, rubbing a stick against the donkey's genitals.
And to her surprise the donkey stopped moving and adhered to the young man's advances.
Taking a closer look Mavuso realised that the man could no longer resist his sexual urges, as he discarded the stick he was using opting to use his right hand instead.
Enjoying
"The donkey raised its tail as if it was enjoying what he was doing to it. For a second I did not know what to do but later left to call a neighbour to witness the act," she said in a surprised and disgusted tone.
She said that they together with a neighbour, Shikisha Dludlu who apparently is Simelane's uncle, watched in awe as Simelane 'fore played' the donkey by gentle rubbing its genitals before proceeding to have sex with it.
"He positioned the donkey on a slight slop and penetrated it for a long time but the entire duration including the touching of genitals lasted for about 30 minutes. Dludlu said we must not disturb him and therefore we let him finish before making our presence known," she added.
Mavuso was further puzzled by the fact that the donkey did not resist the penetration, "it seems as if it was enjoying itself. As he continued it was wiggling its tail and did not attempt to kick at him."
All the while Simelane did not utter a word. Upon ejaculating the man is said to have spent a few minutes facing down as if gasping for air but was interrupted by the exclamations of Mavuso who said that she was totally disgusted by the incident.
Pants
She said that they asked him if he was aware that his pants had become wet in the process but instead they received threats from Simelane. "He threatened to stab me and we left him alone," she said exclaiming that she spat in disgust as they watched Simelane satisfy himself.
Simelane is said to have fetched the donkey, which is one of eight that Mdluli owns, from its grazing land situated a walking distance away leading it to the homestead's kraal where all the 'action' took place.
The donkey's owner, Mdluli, said that he uses his donkeys for farming and that at no point in time did he suspect that his livestock was being subjected to such acts. "He had to be arrested because there is no telling what else he would get up to. Besides I did not want him to spread animal diseases to other people. What he did is despicable and cruelty to animals," he said.
He said that his donkey was rather old such that if it were a human being it would have grandchildren.
Simelane was reported to the police by Mdluli on Saturday and he was arrested the following morning.
Reported
He said that he had not reported the matter to his chief yet.
It is not known if Simelane and the donkey had been enjoying a 'sexual relationship' besides this time that he was caught in the act. It is also not known if he has a girlfriend. He is said to have arrived in the area a few months ago with a member of the Hlatjwako homestead. However, it was gathered that prior to this arrival he had once worked in the same homestead and was regarded as part of the family.
In 2001 an act of bestiality was reported, but then a man was caught having sex with a cow in its kraal.
The act is said to have been going on for quite some time.
20 January 2011
Probably Still my Favouritest-Ever 419 Letter
Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555 Misau Street
PMB 437 Garki, Abuja, FCT
NIGERIA
Dear Sir,
REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to
earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account for subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
mailto:tip@nasrda.gov.ng
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555 Misau Street
PMB 437 Garki, Abuja, FCT
NIGERIA
Dear Sir,
REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to
earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account for subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
mailto:tip@nasrda.gov.ng
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